okay where’s my summer fling y’all oh that’s right in my stomach because it’s food hahahha get it my summer fling is food or i’m a cannibal that’s actually the joke plot twist

life

is like a playing a game of monopoly with a 6 year old. The rules are made up, it’s never your turn, it lasts for way too long for the all the wrong reasons, and there is no way you can ever win. And you always have to pay your taxes.  

almost politically correct asian parent

Upon asking my mom what she would think if I were to be gay: 

“I hope you’re not but if you are that’s okay and we’ll accept you that way too.”

(I don’t think I’m gay but that came up in conversation somehow and her response kinda made me tear up) 

my freaking mother bought Muscle Milk thinking it was regular baby milk powder to send to my aunt in china for her new baby good lord imagine the muscular baby and confused adults buahahahhahaa that is really awful

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thedailyshow:

Tonight: Jon welcomes Bill O’Reilly. 11/10c.

thedailyshow:

Tonight: Jon welcomes Bill O’Reilly. 11/10c.

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andwewillallfloaton-okay:

hey why go to bed early and feel refreshed tomorrow when we can stay up late and let depression swallow us whole

(via squeakachuu)

thesockmonkeyrenegade:

gracethelostgirl:

lovewithyous:

carolineflack:

HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY STOP TEXTING YOU

HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY START TEXTING YOU

HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY

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(via lacigreen)

BANKRUPT IS FUCKING AMAZING TOO DAMN I AM EXCITED AS SHIT FOR THESE CONCERTS IN SETP AND OCT A;LDSKFJA;LDSFKJA;LDSKFJA;DLSKFJS

FUCK MODERN VAMPIRES OF THE CITY IS FUCKING BLOWING MY EAR/MIND/SOUL THIS IS AMAZING